it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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