in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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