i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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