We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize