She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
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I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home