if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way