She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
