yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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