Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
