OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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