Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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