I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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