I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
