Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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