Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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