I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
