2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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