She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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