it's not cheating when I paid for it
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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