..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
