I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
