does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
