He had one of those small greek statue penises
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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