plz talk dirty to me
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
