how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
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Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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