i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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