He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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