She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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