nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
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I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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