If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
