oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
