Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
