Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
