my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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