Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
