I wish I only lived at night.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Randomize
