why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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