hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
