This girl is more easily done than said...
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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