jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
