they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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