Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize