you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
