i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
