I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
