I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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