Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
