Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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