My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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