dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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