I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
