Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
