It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
