it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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