matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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