Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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