Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
