I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
