cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
