Just fell off a train. Bad.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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