evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
